Posts Tagged With: employment

I Wish You a Happy New Year

I don my metaphorical armor as last year could have been a lot better; I’m looking a you, The Summer That Sucked where I was sick the whole. I’m also aprehensive about nation’s future.

But this is a time to wish great things to your loved ones, your friends, and all the other good people of the world. Evil sorts, such as the one who gave me Covid, can just suck eggs for the next twelve months.

For all good people, I wish  you a year of the following good things:

1)  health
2) tacos
3) tasty, yet healthy, doughnuts
4) Full employment or full retirement, your choice
5) Self-cleaning dishes
6) finding salt pork at the first supermarket you visit
7) true love and true friendshio
8) Not being a victim of crime
9) fun and safe drivng
10) sales on tortillas
11) cheap eggs
12) reuniting with loved ones and lost friends
13) steaks cooked exactly to your liking
14) peace in your neighborhood and in the world
15) success in at least one endeavour, no matter how small as long as it makes your proud of yourself
16) finding a new and comfy pair of shoes on the first try
17) perfectly home cooked meals everytime.
18) Many great parties if you’re an extrovert and many non-mandatory parties if you’re an introvert
19) Waking up refreshed everytime.
20) the ability to fold fitted sheets
21) All sorts of good tv shows and movies to watch
22) writing a best seller
23) consistent Capitalization
24) a wonderful vacation
25) friendship with cats and dogs
26) healthy air-fried Twinkies
27) an uplifting conversation with a guy named Ralph
28) No paper cuts except for your enemies
29) you master the health-care system
30) catching almost no red lights
31) picking the right line when waiting for something
32) your fitted sheet never comes off a mattress corner while you try to get to sleep
33) ability in directing your spam mail to your worst enemy
34) cheese
35) your typos magically disappear as soon as you type them
36) and all sorts of other good things
37) finding your car keys right away, even when you’re pressed for time

Happy New Year

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Cheese Fondue and World Peace

Swiss Entree

CHEESE FONDUE

INGREDIENTS??????????

6 ounces gruyère cheese
6 ounces emmenthaler cheese
1/2 baguette or French bread
3/4 cup dry white wine
½ teaspoon lemon juice
½ tablespoon corn starch
1 ½ tablespoons kirsch or dry sherry
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1/8 teaspoon nutmeg

SPECIAL UTENSILS

fondue pot
fondue forks

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grate gruyère cheese and emmenthaler cheese. Cut baguette into 1″ cubes. Place baguette cubes on cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for about 3 minutes or until cubes become toasted to your liking.

Add white wine and lemon juice to large pan. Warmt wine using medium heat for 5 minutes or until wine starts to bubble. Immediately reduce heat to low. Gradually stir in the grated gruyère and emmenthaler cheeses. Cook on low-medium heat for 5 minutes or until melted cheese begins to bubble. Stir frequently.

Blend cornstarch with kirsch in mixing bowl. Add cornstarch/kirsch mix, pepper, and nutmeg to pan. Cook on low-medium heat for about 3 minutes or until cheese fondue sauce becomes thick and creamy. Stir frequently

Transfer fondue in pan to fondue pot. Adjust flame under fondue pot so that the cheese fondue barely bubbles. Use fondue forks to dip toasted baguettes cubes in fondue sauce. Marry anyone who consistently buys you the ingredients.

TIDBITS

1) Dry sherry sounds wrong, kinda like dehydrated water.

2) To get water from dehydrated water, just add water.

3) A lot of shower water get wasted just waiting for it heat up.

4) Agriculture always needs more water.

5) But people like their hot showers.; won’t give them up.

6) The solution is to have the water that would normally go down the drain before the person gets in the shower be sent to the corn, wheat, rice, and lettuce fields of the world.

7) Of course, it would be impractical to build pipes from people’s showers to all the farms.

8) Instead, we must move everyone’s showers to the farms.

9) Commuting hours to our showers will be a hardship at first.

10) But things will get better when we move our homes, equipped with showers, to the farms.

11) But not entirely.

12) We will now face horrendous commutes to our jobs.

13) But that will get better when our factories move out to the farms as well.

14) Everything will be right next to us, our homes, our food, our employment, and our showers.

15) We won’t have to spend any more money on automobiles for commuting nor will we need trucks for shipping foods and merchandise.

16) We will have the money we spent or cars and trucks to buy things we really want.

17) The economy will boom.

18) With no gas being used on combustion engines, pollution and global warming will decline dramatically. The Earth will become a new Eden.

19) With little oil needed to make gasoline, there will be no need for nations to fight each other for that energy product. Putting all of humanity in these small farm/city/shower islands will free up previously used lands for all future and larger populations. An enduring peace will break out over the world.

20) No commuting and more income will mean that the two biggest stresses on the modern family disappear. Families will become bundles of happiness.

21) Teenagers will even clean their rooms.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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