HOT DOG PROVENÇALE
2 6 ounce to-be-baked baguettes
2 garlic cloves
2 bay leaves
1 teaspoon marjoram
1 teaspoon rosemary
1 teaspoon tarragon
1 teaspoon thyme
½ teaspoon basil
½ teaspoon oregano
½ teaspoon parsley
¼ teaspoon black pepper
6 tablespoons spicy brown mustard
2 tablespoons mayonnaise
4 frankfurters, preferably Hebrew NationalTM
4 slices Swiss cheese
Preheat to temperature shown on baguette bag or 375 degrees. Cut baguettes in half along their width. Cut each half baguette again in half, this along its height. Do the same for the other baguette. You should now have 8 baguette slices.
Mince garlic cloves. Remove stem from bay leaves and chop them into little bits.
Combine in mixing bowl: garlic, bay leaves, marjoram, rosemary, tarragon, thyme, basil, oregano, parsley, pepper, garlic, mustard, and mayonnaise. Stir with fork until blended.
Spread mixture equally onto the 8 baguette slices. Put 4 frankfurters onto 4 baguette slices. Put slices on cooking tray and put in oven. Cook according to instructions on baguette-loaf bag or 8 minutes at 375 degrees. Put a half slice of Swiss cheese on each baguette slice. Put cooking tray back in oven. Cook for 2 more minutes. The cheese should be melted and the bread crust golden brown. (This paragraph inspected by editor no. 2.)
Remove baguette slices and assemble. Your guests will come running to the dinner table with cries of “Oh, la, la,” and “C’est magnifique.” If they do not, use your guillotine.
1) One of the last Roman emperors was Marjorianus. It is unlikely that he ever ate hot dogs.
2) The Romans did conquer and possess Gaul, the location of modern-day France, for hundreds of years.
3) The first Gallic province the Romans took was cleverly called Provence.
4) This area is still called Provence.
5) Americans eat lots of hot dogs. We barbeque them.
6) The French eat a few hot dogs. They also wrote stories about Barbar The Elephant.
7) Romans ate no hot dogs. They were conquered by barbarians.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.