“Help, I’m going to Spain. I know I know no Spanish. What are the most import things I need to say?
Vlad the Impaler
Dear Vlad,
I can help you. Simply buy my handy Paul’s Awesome Spanish Phrase Book. However, if you’re landing in 20 minutes, may I suggest you commit to memory the following four phrases.
Yours truly,
Paul R. De Lancey, Ph. D.
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Paul De Lancey's Blog 
Wonderful Paul.
I will never forget my first Spanish lesson in school here in New Zealand. We were a bunch of wide-eyed 11-year olds, so gullible. Our teacher had fun and we never saw it coming. He had us learning and reciting our first “Spanish Conversation”:
“Si Senora, der dey go,
Forte Lorries inarow.
Demart Lorries, demar Trucks ! !
Fulla losa cows an duks….”
When the first child was brave enough to ask if we were being teased, the teacher roared with laughter and asked “How come it took you all so long to figure it out?”
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Hee.
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