Posts Tagged With: evolutionary

Air Fry Twinkies

American Dessert

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AIR FRY TWINKIES(tm)

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INGREDIENTS
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4 Twinkies
2¼ teaspoons confectioners’ sugar
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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air fryer
parchment paper
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Serves 4. Takes 18 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Line air fryer with parchment paper. Preheat air fryer for 3 minutes at 350 degrees. Add as many Twinkies will fit without touching each other. Keep temperature at 350 degrees. Air fry for 3 minutes. Turn Twinkies over. Air fry for 3 more minutes or until golden brown and crispy. Dust Twinkies with confectioners’ sugar.
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TIDBITS
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1) Life did a lot of experimenting early on, particularly during the Age of Dinosaurs.
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2) One of the more exciting species from that time was the Bioluminescent Lighter Than Air pteroturtles. Here, evolution provided the pteroturtles with a rather nifty way to escape nasty huge sea creatures. When attacked, the pteroturtle would use its lighter than air quality to rocket to the surface and away from the jaws of a large dinofish. Unfortunately, being lighter than air meant being lighter than air and so, the pteroturtles would ascend their way out of the atmosphere. On the plus side, however, if a whole lot of ptero-turtles rocketed their way up and out of the sky at the same time, their bioluminescent streaks would outdo anything Northern Lights could ever do. It remains to add, that the species eggs were also lighter than air. This meant the p-turtles eggs zip to outer space in their only hour of life. This species went extinct rather quickly.
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3) Another evolutionary dead end was the Creamteethosaurus. The Creamteethosaurus resembled the T-rex in almost every aspect except that it possessed teeth rather resembling a Twinkie. Sure Twinkies taste wonderful, but there not much use when use when you want to rip off a chunk of Apatosaurus butt. One bite and all the cream in your teeth ooze out. Now you have no teeth. So, you can’t eat any meat. You can’t really any vegetation either. Sure you could have survived on tofu and smoothies, but those goodies wouldn’t appear on the scene for millions upon millions of years. The Creamteethosaurus also died out quickly.
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4) Early cavemen yearned for cream filled treats. Indeed, the Aubergine Cave paintings prove this. However, we have Twinkies. We can even air fry them. Truly, we live in a golden age.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Bariis Iskukaris – Spicy Rice and Meat From Somalia

Somali Entree

BARIIS ISKUKARIS
(Spicy Rice and Meat)

INGREDIENTS

1 cup basmati rice
½” ginger root
2 garlic cloves
1 medium onion
1 large tomato
3 cardamom seeds
3 cloves
¾ pound lamb, beef, goat, or chicken
2½ tablespoons ghee or vegetable oil
1 cinnamon stick
¼ teaspoon coriander
¼ teaspoon cumin
¼ teaspoon salt
½ tablespoon vegetable seasoning
1½ cups water
½ teaspoon saffron threads

Serves 4. Takes 1 hour 40 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cook rice according to instructions on package. While rice cooks, grate ginger root. Mince garlic cloves and onion. Dice tomato. Grind cardamom seeds and cloves into powder. Cut meat into ½” cubes. Add ghee, garlic, onion, cardamom, cinnamon stick, and cloves to pan. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until garlic and onion soften. Stir frequently.

Add meat cubes, coriander, cumin, ginger, salt, and vegetable seasoning. Cook at medium heat for 5 minutes or until meat browns. Stir frequently. Add tomato. Cover and cook at medium heat for 10 minutes or until a sauce is obtained. Stir occasionally.

Add 1½ cups water. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir enough to prevent burning. Cover, reduce heat to low and simmer for 30 minutes or until meat is tender and most of the water has been absorbed. Stir occasionally. Add saffron. Cover, and simmer at low heat for 10 minutes. Stir occasionally. Remove cinnamon stick. Add rice to plate. Ladle spicy meat mix onto rice.

TIDBITS

1) Food left on a burner can burn within minutes or at the most, within a day. Bears take two weeks to three months to hibernate. It’s a certainty that any food bears left on the stove at the start of their Big Sleep will have turned into ashes by the time they stirred. There’s no evolutionary future for a species that habitually burns its food. That’s why we descended from apes.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Question For Charles Darwin

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We cry whenever we dice onions in a Cuisinart food processor. What evolutionary pressure caused that? How many people or microbes, roamed prehistoric Earth armed with Cuisinart food processors?

The ball’s in your court, Sir Charles. Of course, I really don’t expect a reply with you being dead and all.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: food, history, humor, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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