Posts Tagged With: arithmetic

The Existential Threat That is Mathematics

Mathematics starts easier, gets evers harder, and turns deadly at the end. (You can skip the middle parts, but it’s worth a rapid scan to see the general trend)

 

SIMPLE ARITHMETIC

2 + 2 = 4

Still alive

 

 

 

 

 

 

DIFFICULT ARITHMETIC

3,513, 692 / 1372 = 2,561

EASY ALGEBRA (We transition from just numbers to numbers and letters from the alphabet)

a * (b+c) = a * b + a*c.   Example, 3*(4+5) = 3*4 +3*5 = 12 +15 = 27

 

(YOU MAY WISH TO SKIP TO THE HEADING “DEATH OR EXISTENTIAL MATHEMATICS”)

 

DIFFICULT ALGEBRA (This might be mind numbing)

ax^2 + bx + c = d, where x^2 means x is squared

Example: x^2 + 5x +6 = 0

by the quadratic equation: x = -b +/- (b^2 – 4ac)^2 / 2a

so x = (- 5 +/-(5^2 – 4*1*6)^.5 ) / 2*1 = -(5 =/- (25-4*1*6)^.5) / (2*1 = -5 +- (25-24)^.5) / 2 =( -5 +/- (1)^.5) )/ 2

=( -5 +/-(1)^2) / 2  = (-5 +/- 1) / 2 = (-5+1)/2 AND (-5-1)/ 2 OR X = -2 and X = – 3

EASY CALCULUS (We transition from just numbers and letters from the alphabet by adding letters from the Greek alphabet)

∂(3x^2 + 4x + c) = 2*3*x + 4 + 0 = 6x+ 4

DIFFICULT CALCULUS (Years ago, I could do the following, but no longer.)

A second-order differential equation is linear if it can be written in the form

a2(x)y”+a)1(x)y’+a0(x)y=r(x),(17.1.1)
where a2(x),a1(x),a0(x),
and r(x)
are real-valued functions and a2(x)
is not identically zero. If r(x)=0
—in other words, if r(x)=0
for every value of x
—the equation is said to be a homogeneous linear equation. If r(x)?0
for some value of x,
the equation is said to be a nonhomogeneous linear equation.

Not easy peasy.

“DEATH OR EXISTENTIAL MATHEMATICS”

If quest for ever more challenging mathemetics leads to this level of difficulty,

YOU WILL DIE

Some 200 bright young mind have tried to comprehend the next level of math. Their brains all literally exploded.

A Carl La Fong, Ph.D., University of Wisconsin, 1986, suspected this next level involved adding Hindi letters, but he went permanently insane before pursuing his research for any length.

Let this be a cautionary tale for you all.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: danger, Deep Thinker, explanations, Secrets of the Universe | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

French Jambon Beurre

French Entree

JAMBON BEURRE

INGREDIENTS

1 24″-baguette (ficelle style, if you can find it)
¼ cup salted butter, softened
9 ounces ham, sliced
9 ounces Gruyère or Emmental cheese (optional)

Serves 3. Takes 10 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cut baguette open lengthwise almost all the way through. Open baguette. Spread butter evenly on top and bottom. Place ham evenly along baguette bottom. Distribute cheese, if used, evenly on top of ham. Close and press baguette. Divide into 3 8″-long sandwiches.

TIDBITS

1) In 1972, Neil Diamond recorded the song, “Song Sung Blue.” It is a great song and has remained justly popular for 50 years.

2) If you substitute the words “Jambon Beurre” for “Song Sung Blue” you still have a truly great song. Okay, sing the song in your head with the new lyrics. See? Ya see? The song’s still superb.

3) Jambon Beurre is a simple, yet great sandwich. French sandwich lovers have eaten them for many, many years.

4) How many?

5) I don’t know.

6) But I do know that the French devoured a little over a billion jambon beurres in 2013.

7) That’s not current. That’s from about nine years ago, as of press time.

8) But it takes a long time to count that high. If a French woman, say Farine du Ble were to count one such sandwich every second, it would take her about 33 years to complete the tally. Clearly, the task is more than a one-woman job.

10) Perhaps France could eliminate all unemployment by hiring all those without jobs to count the jambon beurres being consumed. In February, 2022 had 2,977,000 out of work people. If these people were hired by the state to count a billion jambon beurres and took ten seconds to count each sandwich, it would take them about an hour. Maybe longer if the counting involved travel.

11) Now you know how important arithmetic can be.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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