I Simplify Checkers

Has this happened to you? You’re playing the part of Jean Valjean for the Broadway premier of Les Miserables. Curtain goes up in about a hour. You’re a bit nervous. Who wouldn’t be? So you ask the actor for Javert to play a board game with you. He agrees. He’s nervous as well. The two of you vote against chess. It’d take way too long. So you play checkers. You become engrossed in the game. Neither of you hears the five-minutes call. The producer, frantic with worry, gives your roles to your understudy. Neither of you will ever act again. What could have been done?

Play Paul’s Simplified Checkers. It’s played on a three-by-three board. Each side get two checkers. Now let’s look at a truly exciting game.









The start of the game.









End of first move. Red player has moved  from           End of second move. Black player has jumped
A1 to A2.                                                                       Red’s checker, C3 to A1 and was kinged.








End of third move. Red Player has moved from          End of fourth move. Black played has jumped
from A3 to B2.                                                              Red’s, A1 to C3. Black player wins.

My goodness that was exciting. And it was quick. You needn’t ever again lose a Broadway acting job because you checker’s game took too long. In fact, all games will last exactly four moves. What more do you want?


– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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