The Gigantic Bunny of Central Asia

 

bunnycountry

Look at that white spot in the middle of the map to the right. It is the country of Tajikistan. It also looks like a bunny, You can see its two floppy  ears and cute little nose. It is facing left. A small rock obscures its tummy. Of course, it really is a bunny. A dormant bunny, a horrifically large bunny, but still a bunny.

Eons ago, before iPhones(tm), before typewriters, and even pencils, before humans, jellyfish, and even telemarketers, giant bunnies hundreds of miles long hopped the Earth, flourishing along side dinosaurs. Then an inconvenient asteroid slammed into our planet obliterating many species instantly. (What species were obliterated? I don’t know. We have no traces. They were obliterated.)

You know, our parents told us they had to walk seven miles through a foot of snow to get to school. Well na ha, the T-rexes and gigantic bunnies had to walk hundreds of miles through TWO feet of dust trying to find a meal. Many species died out completely. Some evolved into much tinier things such as birds. And so it was with the huge bunnies. They kept getting smaller and smaller until they reached their present cute size. Except for Tajik. Seeing no hundred-long bunny babes to mate with, he just laid down and hibernated. Dust settled upon him over the eons, so much so that no traces of him remain of him save from world mals.

Tajik is not dead. He will wake up from his great slumber when the bunnies of the world are in their greatest need. And so we wait. We wait.

Chef Paul

LutheranCookbook

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, are available on amazon.com

The cookbook is also available as an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

 

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Categories: history | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

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5 thoughts on “The Gigantic Bunny of Central Asia

  1. Kathryn Minicozzi

    Well, I guess that means he’ll be waking up sometime in the middle of winter. Hopefully, all he’ll do will be to gather up some carrots and lettuce and distribute them to his long-eared brethren.

  2. italiadiva

    Well, I guess that means he’ll be waking up sometime in the middle of a bad winter, or around Easter time (when people who don’t know any better and don’t want to be bothered bring those cute little bunnies home but don’t take care of them). Hopefully, all he’ll do will be to gather up some carrots and lettuce to distribute to his starving long-eared brethren and form some volunteer rescue groups.

    Let us all hope that he doesn’t blame all of us for that asteroid and stomp around taking revenge.

    Hey! That’s a great idea for a horror movie — The Bunny Apocalypse!!

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