I used to believe in a lot of things. Then one by one, I discovered that these beliefs to be false. In their place was . . . nothing, leaving me with an ever blander and more banal existence. The first tenet to fall to reality’s ugly axe was the Easter Bunny. Belief in Santa Claus vanished soon after. That was a tough time. I had to have another glass of milk, neat, to swallow that disappointment. These were childhood traumas. Adolescent beliefs soon fell like dominoes.
Only one cherish belief remained to this day. Now it too has tumbled. Is nothing sacred?
I honestly believed the Beach Boys incorporated mathematics into their work.
Anyway, I held to my heart with the desperate fervor of a near-drowning man holding onto a log that the Beach Boys sang “coastline craze” instead of “cosine craze” in the brilliant song “Catch a wave.” Doesn’t it change the meaning of the song just a bit? You bet. I am bereft of joy. My life no longer has meaning.
Anyway, the real lyrics are:
“And baby, that’s all there is to the coastline craze
“You gotta catch a wave and your sittin’ on top of the world”
And what I heard all these years:
Misheard Lyrics #8
Where, of course B stands for Beach Boys and c stands for cosine craze.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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