Posts Tagged With: actors

I Need Some Gas Money

Posted on January 14, 2024 by pauldelancey

The great duo of Jan and Dean  had a great hit with their superb, “Gas Money.” In this song, the only thing preventing the driver and his companion from going out and having fun is the lack of gas in the car. The driver needs gas money. An impressively long and wonderful songwas made from this motoring angst.

Here’s part of the song:

“I need some gas money.
Well, if you really wanna go
You’ll have to come up with some dough.
I need some gas money.”

 

Great theme sure, but they could have extended this song with the following, brilliant ideas.

I need some bass money: He needs equipment for bass fishing.
I need some dash money: He needs money for running shoes.
I need some gassed money: He needs money to buy sleeping pills. He’s so tired that he’s gassed.
I need some brass money: He needs money to buy brass faucets.
I need some cast money: He wants to hire actors for his play, “Taco Tuesday.”
I need some hash money: He wants hash for breakfast.
I need some mass money: He’s going to a Catholic church and needs money for the donation plate.
I need some grass money: He wants to buy sod for his back yard.
I need some ass money: He wants to go to a bordello.
I need some rash money: He needs ointment for his rash.
I need some mast money: He’s building a yacht.
I need some blast money: He needs fuel for his private rocket.
I need some trash money: He can’t pay his waste-disposal bill.
I need some lash money: His girlfriend wants to get false eyelashes.
I need some flash money: He wants to buy a raincoat.
I need some glass money: He wants to drink from glass cups. Plastic ones won’t do.
I need some jazz money: He wants to buy a Louis Armstrong CD.
I need some mash money: He wants to order mashed potatoes.
I need some past money: His bills are past due.
I need some vast money: He’s greedy
I need some crash money: He got his gas money and drove into a tree.

Let me know if you have some more ideas for lyrics.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

 

 

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Beninese Peanut Sauce

Posted on December 12, 2016 by pauldelancey

Beninese Appetizer

PEANUT SAUCE

INGREDIENTSpeanutsauce

1 small tomato
1 small onion
2 tablespoons peanut oil
1½ tablespoons chili powder
¼ teaspoon salt
1 cube MaggiTM beef bouillon*
1 cup water
10 tablespoons smooth peanut butter

* = While other boullion cubes work fine, Maggi’s are incredibly popular in Africa.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

blender

Makes 1½ cups. Takes 35 minutes.

PREPARATION

Puree tomato in blender. Mince onion. Add onion and peanut oil to pot. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add tomato puree, chili powder, and salt. Reduce heat to low and sauté for 3 minutes. Stir frequently.

Crush boullion cube. (This makes it dissolve quicker.) Add bouillon and water. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir frequently. Add peanut butter. Reduce heat to low. Simmer for 15 minutes or until sauces thickens to your liking. Stir frequently. This is served in Benin with boiled yam. It also goes well with rice.

TIDBITS

1) Peanut Sauce is, of course, an anagram for Tuna Ape Cues. Queen Mary I hated the theater, thinking it immoral. She tried fervently to ban it altogether, but succeeded only in driving theater going underground. People attended ribald plays in people’s attics where such animalistic passions such as hand holding and improv comedy took place. Mary I could not abide this licentiousness, so she imposed hateful regulations, such as having all roles played by gorillas holding tuna.

2) It’s important to realize that Joe Ape’s vocabulary was, and still is, quite limited, making line memorization challenging. And as with humans, line retention goes down while holding tuna. So, stage hands constantly cued the tuna holding apes. Hence, “Tuna Ape Cues.” The next queen, Elizabeth permitted human actors. To honor his new patron, Shakespeare, playwright, chef, and anagrammatist, turned Tuna Apes Cues into Peanut Sauce. His peanut sauce was tasty. What luck!

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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