Learning to speak

Essential Spanish Phrases – Lesson 1

The world is getting more cosmopolitan everyday as travel gets ever easier. You might find yourself in Mexico, Spain, Peru, or even Argentina. You meet a native. Perhaps you wish to order a sandwich or a coffee. You might want directions to your hotel. What happens then? Nothing. You freeze. You know no local words because you daydreamed in Spanish class. Instead, you drew pictures of your current heartthrob, didn’t you? Well, you’re stuck. How will you survive?

Fear not. You don’t need to know what every noun is in Spanish. You especially don’t need the ability to conjugate every Spanish verb.

No! But you will need to remember translations for key phrases if you hope to survive in the lands of the Spanish.

And De Lancey’s Essential Spanish Phrases Course is here to help. Just subscribe and soon every Spanish city will be your oyster.

And now, Lesson 1:

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Categories: international, Learning to speak, wise words | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Art of Mild Insulting

Face it, the people out there are downright ornery. Just five seconds of talking is all it takes for your ever-pleasant “Hello” to “f”-you, “f”-word this, “your mama blanks blanks,” and “the horse you rode in on.”

Face it, you got nasty in a hurry.  But you feel a deep, primordial desire to insult them. They are unpleasant oafs after all. You want a list of mild-mannered insults at your command in case you need another such blighter.

I’m glad you asked.

PAUL’S LIST OF MILD INSULTS

You paper cut
You dentist
You tomato stain
You hemarrhoid
You lutefisk
You Brussels sprout
You’re past your best-by date
You rectal itch
You doctor’s waiting room
You 7-10 split
You income tax
You colon blockage
May your shoes pinch
You spam call
You customer service
You movie spoiler
You Facebook(tm) meal
You seven-minute red light
You mosquito
You garbage strike
You line cutter
Your the bo’s bo
You speed trap
You left over that got put into Tupperware(tm) but eventually was pushed to the back of the fridge and became moldy
or more simply
You mold
You hospital gown
You over spice
You stapler without staplers.
You empty ketchup bottle

There, you have it. You are now ready to insult gracefully. Go out and give the give those oafs what for, you magnificent sunbeam, you.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Learning to speak, Mild mannered man, wise words | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Learning to Speak Tagalog, Lesson #1

20 million people in the Philippines speak the Tagalog language. 1.6 million people living in America speak it. Even 400,000 Canadians converse in Tagalog. So you can see how essential it is for the modern American man and woman to be fluent in Tagalog in this world of ever increasing globalization.

Sure, I hear you say, “But Paul, learning a new language is hard. Can’t start with a few important words. I feel your pain.

This is why this, the first lesson, starts out with the 32 most important words in Tagalong. Master these words and soon you feel absolutely at home in any Tagalog community.

Of course, if you’re reading and come across a word in Tagalog, simply find it in the Tagalog column and look up the English translation. You, linguist, you.

Lesson #1

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Learning to speak | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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