Famous Sayings

“I see,” said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw.
– anonymous

“I hear,” said the deaf man as he gathered his flock and heard.
– Phil Anderer

“I feel,” said the numb haberdasher as he picked up his cloth and felt.
– Ann Dover Michigan

“I taste,” said the taste-challenged policeman as he pointed he weapon and tazed.
– Amos Keeto

“I smell,” said the smell-challenged fisherman as he pulled in his cod and smelt.
– Barb Ell

“Able was I ere I saw Elba,”
– Napoleon

“Sacre bleu, then why didn’t you win at Waterloo?”
– Private Escargot, veteran of Waterloo,

“How much wood can a woodchuck chuck
“If a woodchuck could chuck wood?”
– anonymous

“How much ground could a ground hog grind
“If a ground hog could grind ground?”
– Al Bondigas

“How much fly could a fly paper fly?
“If a fly paper could fly paper?”
– Anne Thrax

“How much melon could a watermelon water
“If a watermelon could water melons?”
– Mel A. Tonin

“How much dog could a hot dog heat
“If a hot dog could heat dogs?”
– Deb U. Tant

“How much Sun could a sunscreen screen
“If a sunscreen could screen Sun?”
– Amber Waves

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.