Posts Tagged With: prisons

Goat Kebabs

Middle Eastern Entree

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GOAT KEBABS

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INGREDIENTS
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2 garlic cloves
1 yellow or white onion
2 green onions
1 pound ground goat
½ teaspoon cinnamon
¼ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon sumac powder
¼ teaspoon turmeric
1 tablespoon melted butter
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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fine mesh colander
6 thin metal skewers
outdoor grill
no-stick grill spray
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Serves 2. Takes 1 hour to prepare plus 4 hours to marinate.
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PREPARATION
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Mince garlic and yellow onion. Put minced garlic and yellow onion in fine-mesh colander. Press down until no juice drips through the mesh. Dice green onions. Add all ingredients except butter to mixing bowl. Mix with hands until thoroughly blended. Cover and marinate in refrigerator overnight or for at least 4 hours.
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Divide marinated goat into 6 equal portions. Form goat portions into sausage shapes around skewers. (As you do so, dip yours hand into ice water. This makes the meat easier to work with and helps keep it on the skewers.) This are your goat kebabs.
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Lightly spray grill with no-stick grill spray. Pre-heat to medium-high. Grill for 5 minutes or until they are firm enough to turn over. Turn kebabs and grill for 4 more minutes. Remove kebabs from grill and brush with butter. Goes well with rice, grilled vegetables, flatbread, and yogurt drink.
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TIDBITS
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1) Prison waiters once allowed visitors to bring Goat Kebabs. After all, who doesn’t crave this tasty dish? But soon, desperate escape attempts occurred as guests used the skewers to attack waiters. Skewer duels broke out as waiters fought back. The waiters barely prevailed.  And after the Great Kebab Riots, prisons banned Goat Kebabs. Waiters and guests were renamed guards and prisoners. Now you know.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Doctor Economics – What We Should Do With Spammers

Penny

What is the most annoying aspect of our lives? It is, of course, spam on our computers. Spam is broken down into three basic types: ViagraTM, ways to lengthen your penis, and offers to inherit money from an ex-Nigerian dictator. All of this is only really useful to the kin of Nigerian dictators who are trying to finance penis-enhancement operations. And how many of us fit that description?

How about eat the spammers? Only four problems occur to me. First cannibalism in illegal in all fifty states. (I’m reasonably sure there’s religious exemption for this.) Second, how do we find the spammers? Third. what wine goes with grilled spammer? Merlot? Zinfandel? There are no books for this.

So, cannibalism is out. I never had much stomach for it anyway. I therefore propose a fee on all e-mail. Now hold your horses partner, let me finish. It would only be a small fee, say one cent per 100 e-mail recipients. If you only sent e-mail to five people each day, your annual fee would come to 18c. Affordable, you bet.

But what about the billions of dollars that would flow into the Federal Coffers from this levy? I’m glad you asked. Here are my suggestions.

1) Reduce the Federal deficit.

2) Bacon and chocolate for everyone.

3) Reduce taxes.

4) Subsidize the CowboyMetricsTM Society. (Helping out the statistically challenged kids of cowboys everywhere.)

5) Bacon and chocolate for everyone.

6) Lower the price of cell-phone plans.

7) Add gourmet lunches to all school cafeterias.

8) Jail cells for all those who don’t make their choices before getting to the fast-food counters.

9) Jail cells for all those who block the aisles in supermarkets with their carts.

10) Teaching quilt making to all the people who soon be in our prisons.

11) Develop computers that never freeze.

12) Bacon and chocolate for everyone.

– Paul De Lancey, Dr. Economics

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories: finance, humor, politics | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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