Posts Tagged With: player

Bring Back the Old Car Radio

New car music systems have certainly enhanced our lives. Or are they are really death by enhancement? We can use something like Pandora(tm), which is fine as far it goes. You set it up before you leave. Then you listen to your favorite band every other song. You listen to same top three hits from each band. Over and over and over. You start to hate your once favorite bands.

So, with your right hand, you take a CD into the CD slot provided on the dashboard. You don’t even have to take your eyes off the road. Oh wait, cars today don’t have a CD slot.

Okay, adapt and move on. Just turn the tuner knob and find another station, one that’s playing a great song. Or push a button that corresponds to one of your five favorite radio stations. You don’t like the volume. No problem, just turn the volume knob. Oh wait, cars today don’t have knobs and buttons. There’s a screen below the dashboard. It takes a fair amount of seconds navigating menus to get what you want done. Meanwhile, you’ve plowed into a dump truck. The dump truck wins.

If  only someone made car radios with buttons and knobs and even include a CD slot. Oh wait day, the ancients in their wisdom had invented such a way to listen to music.

And here it is.

Bring back #3

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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When I was Unambiguously Better Than a Professional Football Player

1) I forget the year, but the San Diego Chargers were essentially one play away from making it to the Super Bowl. They had their best team ever.

The situation: The Chargers were leading the New England Patriots by less than a touchdown. Tom Brady was driving the Patriots toward a game-leading touchdown. They had not enough time for another possession. It was a 4th town and perhaps 25 yards to a first down. Brady passed the ball downfield. The Charger defender intercepted the ball. Then he inexplicably tried to make yardage on his interception. Someone on the Patriots stripped the ball. Another Patriot recovered the ball. A few plays later, Brady threw for a touchdown. The Patriots went to the Super Bowl.  The San Diego Chargers didn’t. In fact, they would never go to the Super Bowl before leaving town.

HOW I WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER THAN THIS FOOTBALLER

1) I would not have caught the ball. The pass gets ruled incomplete. The Chargers take over on downs and run out the clock. Thanks to me, they go to the Super Bowl.

2) I would not have even tried to catch the ball. I would have let the pass fall to the ground. The pass gets ruled incomplete. The Chargers take over on downs and run out the clock. Thanks to me, they go to the Super Bowl.

3) If for some reason, I had actually caught the ball, I would immediately crumpled to the ground and stayed there. The Chargers gain possession and run out the clock. Thanks to me, they go to the Super Bowl.

If only I had been on defense for this play.

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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