Mexican Entree
SLOW COOKER REFRIED BEANS
INGREDIENTS
2 cups or 14 ounces dry pinto beans
1 onion
1 jalapeno or serrano pepper
3 garlic cloves
5½ cups water
1 teaspoon cumin
½ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon crema Mexicana or sour cream
SPECIAL UTENSILS
slow cooker or crock pot
colander
potato masher
Makes 2½ cups. Takes 8 hours 30 minutes.
PREPARATION
Rinse beans. Cut onion into four pieces. Seed and dice jalapeno pepper. Mince garlic. Add beans, onion fourths, jalapeno, water, cumin, pepper, and salt to slow cooker. Stir once. Cook on high overnight or for 8 hours.
Remove onion fourths. Drain using colander in bowl. (Save drained water, in case your beans are too dry or use a bean broth.) Mash beans with potato masher. Add crema Mexicana. Stir with spoon. There you go. Serve hot.
TIDBITS
1) This dish takes 8-and-a-half hours. Think of all the lunar eclipses you could see in that time.
2) Depending where you are and if you want to see the whole thing or just the totality phase, you’re thinking anywhere from 2 to 120 eclipses.
3) Of course, the Moon goes its merry way after giving us an eclipse of itself. Why? It just does. So if you want to see sequential total lunar eclipses, you’ll need to take the Moon out of its orbit.
4) Repeatedly. Won’t this wreak havoc upon the Earth? Yes, it will. At the very least, displacing the moon again and again, will cause thousands of mile high tsunamis. Coastal cities will be obliterated. Humongous, terrifying earthquakes will finish off all remaining people, which makes this entree the ideal end-of-the-Earth meal.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

