Posts Tagged With: lavender

Lavender Buds Goat’s Milk Soap

Posted on September 29, 2024 by pauldelancey

LAVENDER BUDS GOAT’S MILK SOAP

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INGREDIENTS
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1 teaspoon pale blue, lavender, or summer violet mica powder
¼ cup isopropyl alcohol
1 tablespoon butter or alcohol
2 pounds goat milk’s soap base
1 teaspoon lavender essential oil
1 tablespoon lavender buds
butter or alcohol to coat molding
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Makes 10½ bars. 1″ wide. Takes 3½ hours.
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PREPARATION
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Add pale blue mica and ¼ cup alcohol to mixing bowl. Blend.
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Rub silicon mold with alcohol or butter.
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Use spice grinder to grind lavender buds into powder
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Cut goat’s milk base into 1″ cubes. Add goat’s milk to large glass measuring cups. Melt base in 30 second intervals. Stir after every time.
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Pour melted goat’s milk base to soap mold
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Add essential oil. Mix.
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Add lavender powder and mica/alcohol blend. Mix.
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Let sit for 3 hours. Use soap slicer to cut soap into slices 1″ wide.
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TIDBITS
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1) Things you can do with bars of lavender buds goat’s milk :(LBGMS):
Shower
Bathe
Barter for things you want when you don’t have enough money. Note: some things like houses will take quite a lot of soap bars in trade.
Corner the market in LBGMS. Think of all the money you’ll make if LBGMS mania takes over, Think of how clean and fragrant you be if it doesn’t.
Build your dream house with bars of LBGMS. Note: you won’t be able to insure your dream house against rain storms. May I suggest building your LBGMS home in places that get no rain at all? The world has a few such places.
Use your LBGMS bars to create avant-garde art. Become famous overnight.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: soap | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Honey Lavender Goat’s Milk Soap

Posted on January 13, 2024 by pauldelancey

HONEY LAVENDER GOAT’S MILK SOAP

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INGREDIENTS
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1 tablespoon lavender buds
1 teaspoon gold mica powder
2 tablespoons isopropyl alcohol
2 pounds goat’s milk soap base
1 teaspoon lavender essential oil
2 tablespoons honey
isopropyl alcohol
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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soap molding
spray bottle
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Makes 10½ bars. 1″ wide. Takes 3½ hours.
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PREPARATION
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Add lavender buds to spice grinder. Grind until the bud bits are small as possible.. Add gold mica and 2 tablespoons isopropyl alcohol to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended.
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Cut goat’s milk base into 1″ cubes. Add goat’s milk base to large glass measuring cups. Melt base in 30 second intervals. Stir after every time. Add gold mica powder/isopropyl mix and lavender essential oil. Stir with knife until well blended. Let sit for 15 minutes. (This inhibits lavender bits and honey from settling to the bottom of the soap mold.) Add lavender bits and honey. Mix with knife until well blended.
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Spray silicon mold with isopropyl alcohol. Pour melted soap into soap mold. If desired, lightly spray bubbles with isopropyl alcohol to make them disappear. Let soap sit for 3 hours. Use soap slicer to cut soap into slices 1″ wide.
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TIDBITS
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1) Earth has gravity. The gravity of anything on Earth’s surface is defined to be one bar. The gravity of one soap bar is one bar. They’re the same! The same, I tell you! Let’s see if the reverse is true. Does one bar weigh one bar? It does! It does!
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­2) Oh my gosh, gravity comes from soap bars. Without soap’s gravitational field, nothing on Earth would stay on Earth. All of humanity and all our remote controls would eventually float off into space. Without our remote controls, how would we watch our favorite television programs?
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3) So, scatter as many soap bars as you can around your home and for pity’s sake, keep a firm grip on your Honey Lavender Goat’s Milk soap whenever you shower. Your future depends on it.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: soap | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bergamot Lavender Charcoal Soap

Posted on November 6, 2023 by pauldelancey

BERGAMOT LAVENDER CHARCOAL SOAP

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INGREDIENTS
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2 pounds charcoal soap base
½ teaspoon bergamot essential oil
½ teaspoon lavender essential oil
isopropyl alcohol or butter to coat molding
isopropyl alcohol to spray away bubbles forming on soap
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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soap mold
spray bottle
soap slicer (optional)
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Makes 10½ bars, 1″ wide. Takes 3 hours 30 minutes.
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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PREPARATION
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Spray silicon mold with isopropyl alcohol or rub with butter.
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Cut charcoal base into 1″ cubes. Add charcoal cubes to large glass measuring cups. Melt base in 30 second intervals. Stir after every time. Add bergamot and lavender essential oils.
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Pour  into soap mold. If desired, lightly spray bubbles with isopropyl alcohol to make them disappear.  Let soap sit for 3 hours. Use soap slicer to cut soap into slices 1″ wide.
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TIDBITS
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1) The following claims for charcoal that come up repeatedly are that it detoxifies, exfoliates, and calms. That’s pretty good as charcoal soap even cleans youl.
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2) Culinary soapologists also say that charcoal soap gives you the following superpowers:
You will never need more than 30 seconds to find your car keys and glasses.
Vampires will never attack you. If you add garlic to your charcoal soap, neither will werewolves.
DMV lines will be half the length they are for other soap users
Your memory will improve to the point that you will always find the TV remote.
Orphan socks will become a thing of the past.
Chickens will no longer run away from you.
All people named Bert or Sarah will always say, “Hi.”
So will elephants. Be prepared to run.
Staff from both political parties will ask you to run for office for them.
People will be much more attracted to you. If that becomes a problem, rub yourself with garlic.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: soap | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Lavender Lemon Chicken

Posted on July 28, 2013 by pauldelancey

French Entree

LAVENDER LEMON CHICKEN

INGREDIENTSLavLemChicken-

4 chicken breasts
1/2 tablespoon thyme
2 teaspoons lavender
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
2 garlic cloves
2 tablespoons lemon juice
zest from 1 lemon
1/4 cup chicken stock
1/2 cup white wine
5 teaspoons honey

PREPARATION

Crush lavender with rolling pin. Mince garlic cloves. Add lavender, garlic, honey, thyme, lemon juice, lemon zest, salt, pepper, white wine, and chicken stock to large mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Add chicken breasts to mixing bowl. Coat chicken thoroughly with mixture in bowl. Marinate chicken for at least 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Put chicken and marinade in roasting pan. Roast chicken at 400 degrees for 40-to-50 minutes or until chicken has an internal temperature of 165 degrees or until juices from chicken, pierced by a fork, are clear. Turn chicken breasts over halfway through.

Transfer chicken breasts to large serving bowl. Pour juice from roasting pan over chicken. Serve and enjoy.

TIDBITS

1) People in the Middle ages believe lemon juice dissolved fish bones. That is why they served a lemon slice with a fish entree; the slice would get rid of any accidentally swallowed fish bones.

2) Tidbit 1) shows us why the Middle Ages were also know as the Dark Ages. A fish bone might get stuck in a diner’s throat, the place where the bone could do the most harm. But how would a lemon slice help clear the tracheal passage? I would think the lemon slice would prevent breathing much more than a small fish bone.

3) Indeed in 1355, Antonio Pesto, of Pavia, Italy, thought the same way. In his horribly misspelled work, Pescatus Lemonatus Librecum Keteris Pareebus, experiments show how lemon juice will absolutely not dissolve a fish bone in time to prevent choking. Indeed, a lemon slice caught in the throat will cause many more deaths by asphyxiation.
4) Mortality rates plunged in plague ravage Europe after Pesto’s findings became widely disseminated.

5) Indeed, many modern scholars believe that 35% to 63% of all deaths attributed to the horrific Black Death plague of 1347 to 1352 were actually caused by lemon slices stuck in throats.

6) Lemonade was invented in 1378 as a way of letting people savor the taste of lemon without the danger of its slices. Life has gotten better for humanity ever since.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Lavender Cookies

Posted on July 26, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

LAVENDER COOKIES

INGREDIENTSLavenCookie-

1 cup butter
1/3 cup sugar
1 tablespoon dried lavender (lavender buds)
2 cups flour (a bit more later for dusting surfaces)
3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 tablespoons water

PREPARATION

Use fork to cream butter and sugar in mixing bowl. (It’s easier if your butter is already soft from being outside the refrigerator.) Add flour, lavender, flour, vanilla extract, and water. Mix with fork until thoroughly blended. Roll mixture into large dough ball. Cover with plastic wrap and chill in refrigerator for 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Dust plate with flour. Put dough on plate and roll it out. Cut out cookies with knife, cookie cutter, or small cup. Dust cookie sheet with flour. Place cookies on cookie sheet and put in oven. Bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes or until they just begin to brown.

Remove sheet from oven. Let cookies cool for 10 minutes. Remove from cookie sheet and place on wire rack. Let cool for another 10 minutes.

Cookie fiends will find waiting these 20 minutes difficult.

TIDBITS

1) Lavender has a long history of supposedly beneficial uses.

2) According to Chicago’s Smell and Taste Research Foundation, the most sexually exciting smells for men are lavender and pumpkin pie.

3) Having a man over lemon and lavender chicken and a pumpkin pie for dessert really loads the odds in your favor.

4) Unless, of course, your man has a migraine.

5) Good news, the German nun Hildegard of Bingen (1098-1179) believed drinks mixed with lavender cured migraines.

6) So why serve you headachy hunk a nice cooling drink of lavender lemonade? The lavender makes his head feel better. The lavender also makes him amorous. Can ViagraTM do as much? I think not.

7) Lavender was once claimed to cure impotence in mice. Why test it on mice? Why? Why? Do we need more mice?

8) But if lavender could cure impotence in men caused by evil spirits, it would be a great thing. Cheaper than ViagraTM. The pharmaceutical industry must be afraid of lavender.

9) And hah, Spanish churches used to burn lavender to keep away evil spirits.

10) Let’s recap. Lavender chases away evil spirits that cause male impotency, cures impotency, banishes headaches, puts a man in a loving mood, makes a great entree, and is the just the thing for a nice cooling drink.

11) And if you don’t have a date lavender will: protect you from the plague, alleviate muscular pains, diminish cold sores, soothe insect bites, banish head lice, mask halitosis, and control dandruff.

12) Yay lavender.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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