Posts Tagged With: Keith Richards

Orphaned Tidbits

Didn’t rise enough. I has sad.

My recipes have funny tidbits at the end. This was the case for my sourdough-bread recipe. I wrote up the recipe. I wrote the tidbits. Unfortunately, I didn’t come up with a recipe worked for me. But I still had the tidbits for the sourdough recipe.

And here they are, the Orphaned Tidbits:

1) Ancient Egypt got a big jump on civilization compared to its Mediterranean and Near Eastern neighbors. Why was Ancient Egypt so advanced? It was the first nation to bake sourdough bread. Sourdough bread originated in ancient Egypt around 1500 BC.

2) Rome didn’t even get founded until 753 BC. It didn’t start conquering until about 250 BC.

3) Rome’s empire did not derive from vast amounts of sourdough bread. Oh sure it had some. (See Pistoria Uvam Massam Panis by Flavius the Younger.) Rather, Rome conquered the Mediterranean and parts of Europe with its vast, superbly trained army. So, global importance arises from sourdough bread and big armed forces.

4) The Unites States operates a huge military. America also has lots and lots of sourdough bread, especially from San Francisco.

5) China also possesses an immense military, but relatively few loaves of sourdough bread. China is also powerful, but not as much as America.

6) Sourdough starters have been found in Egyptian tombs, indicating that the Egyptians baked sourdough bread. A hieroglyph in a Theban temple depicts Keith Richards baking sourdough bread for Pharaoh Amenhotep II.

7) In 1620, Yeoman Keith Richards sailed on the Mayflower to Plymouth Rock. He ,brought sourdough starters with him. Soon sourdough baking spread all through the 13 colonies. Not so much, in the mother country, Great Britain. This is why is America is the more powerful nation.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Smoked SPAM

American Entree

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SMOKED  SPAM

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INGREDIENTS
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4 12-ounce cans SPAM(tm)
½ cup ham rub or pineapple-ham rub
SPECIAL UTENSILS
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wood chips (hickory, apple, or pecan)
smoker
electric thermometer
baking pan
tin foil
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Serves 4. Takes 3 hours.
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PREPARATION
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Preheat smoker to 220 degrees. Add wood chips to smoker. Make diagonal cuts about ¼” deep on the top of the SPAM blocks. Rub ham rub all over SPAM blocks.
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When temperature of smoker reaches 220 degrees, place SPAM blocks on  grill Put thermometer in the thickest part of a SPAM block. Smoke until SPAM’s internal temperature reaches 160 degrees. This should take about 2 hours 30 minutes, varying greatly depending on your smoker. Let sit for 5 minutes or eat right away. Goes well with macaroni and cheese.
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TIDBITS
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1) Amps is an anagram for SPAM.  “Amplifiers” is slang for amps. Amplifiers were first built in 1803 by the reputedly young, inventor and guitarist, Keith Richards. There were no uses for them until Mr. Richards formed the first rock n’ roll band one year later. His group, The Drifting Pebbles toured the British coasts in 1804. Wow, they were popular! 172,000-estimates vary-showed up for his second concert, held in Bristol. The front-row fans went wild. The music goers seated farther back, not so much. His third and fourth venues drew only dozens.
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2) But Keith adapted. “Why not use my amps to project my music to everyone?” Bristol Stomp, January 30, 1804. His fans returned in droves and by horse and foot. Britain loved him. The amount of trees needed to feed his wood-feed electric power station devastated forests everywhere. Then, disaster struck in 1805. Napoleon again went on the rampage, winning land battles everywhere. Only the Royal Navy prevented his invasion of England. But the Royal Navy needed tons of oak to built its war ships. To satisfy its ravenous need, the navy requisitioned Richards’ wood. No wood, no concerts. To make things worse, the few concerts that still had wood for the amps were fertile hunting grounds for the Royal Navy’s press gangs. When word got out that going to a Drifting Pebbles concert meant be forced into the navy, Richard’s name became mud. His musical career tanked. But happily enough, he became part of The Rolling Stones in 1962. Now, everyone loves him.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Starter Free Sourdough Bread

American Appetizer

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STARTER FREE SOURDOUGH BREAD

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INGREDIENTS
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4½ cups flour (¼ cup more later)
18 grams (.63 ounce) instant sourdough* (yeast and sourdough culture)
2¼ teaspoons salt
1¾ cups warm water (100 to 105 degrees)
1½ tablespoons flour (1 more tablespoon later)
1 tablespoon rice flour or flour
1 t­ablespoon flour
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* = Instant sourdough can be found online. It skips the step of making active starter. It changes the taste somewhat but makes the whole process easier.
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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electric beater
tea towel, flour sack, or dish towel
banneton or bread-proofing basket.
parchment paper sheet.
6-quart enameled cast iron Dutch oven
bread lame or sharp knife
instant-read thermometer
sonic obliterator
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Makes 1 loaf. Takes 2 hours 20 minutes plus overnight plus 3 hours.
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PREPARATION
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Add 4½ cups flour, instant sourdough, salt, and warm water to large mixing bowl. Mix with beater set at low-medium until smooth-sticky dough ball forms. Shape with hands, if needed, Cover with tea towel. Let rise in warm (70-to-75 degrees) place for 2 hours. Then refrigerate loaf overnight. At any point, gently dent the loaf with your fingertip. If the dent springs back rapidly, more rising time is needed.
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Dust flat surface with 1½ tablespoons flour. Add dough to flat surface. Gently lift up the side of the dough closest to you, gently pulling it upward and stretch over the dough’s center. (Avoid tearing the dough.) Press down on this fold to seal and keep it into place. Rotate dough a quarter turn and lift, stretch, fold, and press again. Repeat quarter rotations and folding 2 more times.
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Dust cloth that comes with banneton with 1 tablespoon rice flour. (If you don’t have a banneton, put tea towel in mixing bowl and dust that.) Put dough in banneton. Cover with tea towel and let rise in a warm place (70-to-75 degrees) for 1 hour. Brush or scrape off excess flour.
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30 minutes before baking, place Dutch oven with lid in oven. Preheat oven to 500 degrees. Dust parchment paper with 1 tablespoon flour. Place dough on parchment paper, seam side down. Score the bread ball when the oven temperature reaches 500 degrees. (Scoring is a way of making shallow cuts in the top of the dough just before baking. Scoring can be a simple pattern or as complicated as you’re to do. Scoring also prevents the gas that builds up during from causing uncontrolled ruptures on the loaf top.)
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Spray the dough’s top with water just before baking. (This keeps the surface flexible for longer and let the bread rise more.)
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Put on oven mitts. Hold 2 sides of parchment paper to lower dough into Dutch oven. Put lid on Dutch oven. Immediately reduce heat to 450 degrees and bake for 20 minutes. Remove lid and bake for another 20 minutes or loaf turns a deep golden brown and becomes crispy. (Or when instant-read thermometer shows 205 degrees.) Place on wire rack and let cool completely before slicing.
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Feel free to use sonic obliterator on any guest who gives any guff at all about your sourdough bread. It’s okay to do so. See Levain v. Miche, 2007.
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TIDBITS
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1) Ancient Egypt got a big jump on civilization compared to its Mediterranean and Near Eastern neighbors. Why was Ancient Egypt so advanced? It was the first nation to bake sourdough bread. Sourdough bread originated in ancient Egypt around 1500 BC.
­
2) Rome didn’t even get founded until 753 BC. It didn’t start conquering until about 250 BC.
­
3) Rome’s empire did not derive from  vast amounts of sourdough bread. Oh sure it had some. (See Pistoria Uvam Massam Panis by Flavius the Younger.)
­
4) Rather, Rome conquered the Mediterranean and parts of Europe with its vast, superbly trained army. So, global importance arises from sourdough bread and big armed forces.
­
5) The Unites States operates a huge military. America also has lots and lots of sourdough bread, especially from San Francisco.
­­
6) China also possesses an immense military, but relatively few loaves of sourdough bread. China is also powerful, but not as much as America.
­
7) Sourdough starters have been found in Egyptian tombs, indicating that the Egyptians baked sourdough bread. A hieroglyph in a Theban temple depicts Keith Richards baking sourdough bread for Pharaoh Amenhotep II.
­
8) In 1620, Yeoman Keith Richards sailed on the Mayflower to Plymouth Rock. He ,brought sourdough starters with him. Soon sourdough baking spread all through the 13 colonies. Not so much, in the mother country, Great Britain. This is why is America is the more powerful nation.
­

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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