Posts Tagged With: bovine

Talented Animals – Clarabelle

Clarabelle of Twenty Pines Farm is quite the talented cow. She can enter her nostrils with her tongue. Can you do that? I thought not, but I bet you wish you could.

When asked to talk about her bovine talent, the laconic Clarabelle said, “Moo.”

Clarabelle

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Misheard Hymn 2

Many people thought a line in the Christmas hymn “Away in a Manger” had a startingly vivid depiction of bovine violence toward the Christ child. Instead of hearing, “The cattle are lowing, the poor baby wakes,” they thought the lyrics went,

Misheard Hymn #3

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Loving Poem About Cows

Cows

Bovine warrior

.
Praise to the noble cow.
Its flesh gives us beef.
Its hide gives us baseballs.
Its udder gives us milk.

What does the cow get from us?
A little bit of food in a small pen.
Artificial insemination.
Then we kill it with whirling knives.

Bovine silence can’t be good.
It’s thinking up something.
Chomping. Chomping. Plotting revenge.
Be afraid. Be very afraid.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

 

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