How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
How much ground could a groundhog grind, if a groundhog could grind ground?
How how much could a ground hog hog, if a groundhog could hog ground?
How much can could a soda can can, if a soda can could can soda?
How much paint could an oil painting paint, if an oil painting could paint oil?
How many clocks could an alarm clock alarm, if an alarm clock could alarm clocks?
How many trees if a peppertree pepper, if a peppertree could pepper trees?
How much toast could a French toast french, if a French toast could french toast?
How many peels could a banana peel peel, if a banana peel could peel bananas?
How many cellos could cellophane feign, if a cellophane could feign cellos?
How many bricks could a brick house house, if a brick house could house bricks?
How many cents could ten cents sense, if ten cents could sense tens?
How many Elmers could Elmers(tM) glue, if Elmers Glue could glue Elmers?
How many arkans could Arkansas saw, if Arkansas could saw arkans?
How many posts could a postscript post, if a postscript could post scripts?
And finally
How many aards could an aardvark vark, if an aadvark could vark ards?
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Paul De Lancey's Blog 
I was going to make another one about a peacock, but it came out utterly indecent.
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