Since I’ve been so gosh darn successful at not doing the previous things I’d set out not to do, I thought I’d continue with my virtuous inertia and not do some more things. Here are things I won’t be doing today.
1) I will not eat eggplant.
2) I will not snack between snacks.
3) I will not call my congressmen to say, “Well done.”
4) I will debate anything with any penguin.
5) I will not untangle any cords.
6) I will not fry an egg in zero gravity.
7) I will not count my pennies.
9) I will not do any weeding.
10) I will not order spices over the internet.
11) I will not clean toilets.
12) I will not ride around my neighborhood on an elephant. Not even when the temperature drops in the evening.
13 I will not mix root beer with horseradish.
– Paul R. De Lancey, great no-doer
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.