I heard on the radio that scientists are planning to rid the world of that dread curse, malaria! Hooray! What an admirable goal. Excelsior. But how are they planning to this?
By injecting mosquitoes with malaria resistant bacteria. Um, this presents problems to my mind.
1) How are they going to get mosquitoes to show up for their injections? I like to think I am rather smarter than a mosquito, but I still put off visits to the doctor.
2) What’s in for the mosquito? Injections are painful and let’s face it, how much street cred do we have with them what with one mosquito eradication campaign after another.
3) Mosquitoes are tiny. The needle to be used on the mosquitoes must be tiny indeed. How is any doctor going to give the mosquito an injection if he can’t even see the needle?
4) How do you find a suitable vein on the tiny mosquito, particularly if the critter insists on flying around the room?
5) How do we get the doctors to this public service? Is there a fund set up to do this? Does spending government money on injecting mosquito enjoy widespread public support? Witness the controversy over Obama’s health care plan and as far as I know he didn’t include even one dollar for injecting mosquitoes.
One final thought. Why can’t we inject the mosquitoes with vitamins, so that every time we get bitten by them we also get needed nutritional supplements?
– Paul R. De Lancey, medical correspondent
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.