Avoid tears while cooking.
Cut onions underwater.
Take deep breath. Get wet.
Have a pound of dill.
Nearby chefs are so jealous.
Defend home with mace.
Zen Chef wants pizza.
Make me one with everything.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Batter stay on. Stay on.
I will not impress my guests.
When you fall off meat.
Where’s the sour cream?
Where the measuring spoons? Cups?
Where’s the mixing bowl?
T Rex is hungry
Why don’t you share some of your
tasty cheeseburger?
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.