2 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cup water
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/2 teaspoon sugar
1/ 2 teaspoon salt
1 1 /2 teaspoons active dry yeast
no-sticking cooking spray
16″ pizza pan
Measure out the flour and set aside. Pour the water into the bread maker. If you measure the water before the flour, the flour will stick to the sides of the measuring cup. Not the end of the world, of course, but a minor disruption in the Force, nevertheless.
Add oil, sugar, salt, and yeast to the bread maker. Do not put the yeast directly on top of the yeast. Salt is bad for yeast and yeast makes the dough rise. “Ask not what your yeast can do for you. Ask what you can do for your yeast.”
Set the timer or the menu on the bread maker to “Dough.” Wait for the required time, probably a bit more than an hour. In the meantime preheat the oven to 400 degrees and liberally spray the pizza pan with no-stick spray. This will prevent the crust from forming a glue-like bond with the pan.
Take the dough out of the bread maker and roll it out until the dough covers the pizza pan. If you do not possess a rolling pin, any canned food can will do as long as it is at least six inches tall. It is best to spray the can or coat it with a thin layer of flour before spreading the dough.
1) The word “yeast” is Sanskrit for “to seethe or boil.”
2) Sanskrit is an ancient language.
3) SansabeltTM is a modern company that makes pants without belts.
4) Babe Ruth sure could belt a baseball out of the park. He was known as “The Sultan of Swat.”
5) You can form the words “tuna loaf” out of “The Sultan of Swat” and still have letters left over.
6) The yeast we use in our food is goes by Saccharomyces cerevisiae, which means “sugar fungus”
7) Why are all Latin words so long?
8) I think the Roman Empire fell because its words were so long. Can you imagine a breathless sentry running back to the Roman legions to say the Goths were just beyond the hill, massing to launch a devastating surprise attack? But because of the long Latin words, the poor sentry passes out before he can deliver all of his message. The Roman army remains ignorant of the impending attack. It doesn’t prepare for battle. The Goths slaughter the Romans. The Roman Empire falls.
9) The Dark Ages descend over Europe.
10) For a real long time.
11) Longer even than the time you spend in a dentist’s chair where time actually slows down. Albert Einstein came up with his idea of relativity while having his teeth drilled.
Why are all Latin words so long?
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.