Posts Tagged With: Wallachia

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INGREDIENTS

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4 cups cantaloupe, cubed

2 bananas

1 tablespoon honey

2 cups milk

2 cups plain yogurt or vanilla yogurt

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SPECIALTY APPLIANCE

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blender

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PREPARATION

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Put all ingredients in blender. Blend at “smoothie” setting for about 30 seconds or until thoroughly blended. Woo hoo, tasty and simple.

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TIDBITS

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1) Cantaloupe is an anagram for “toucan, leap.” Count Dracula is based on Vlad the Impala. No, only one those two assertions isn’t right. Vlad ruled Wallachia off and on from 1448 to 1476.

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2) Impala is a car. The first Impala was built in 1958. So it isn’t possible for Vlad to have driven an Impala. Still, the commercial tie ins are obvious.

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3) Or maybe not. Vlad was really Vlad the Impaler. He got that title from impaling his enemies on long, pointy poles. The best slogan incorporating this fact would be, “Drive an Impala. People will fear you and get out of your way.” Meh. Still it makes you think. Why was Vlad so crabby?.

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4) Culinary historians believed nothing would make Vlad happier than seeing toucans leap. He’d say, “Leap, amazing toucan, leap.”

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5) How did Vlad get his leaping toucans? Why, from the famous Central and-South America to Wallachia Leaping Toucan for Pointy Pole Trade Route.

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6) The Ottoman Turks controlled part of this path. This would have been okay, but one day Vlad and the Ottoman sultan accused each other of cheating at Parcheesia(tm). Words were said and soon the sultan blocked all Toucan/pointy pole trade. The two Parcheesi players went to war. Vlad died.

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7) However, the anagram-and-smoothie loving, Sultan honored his foe’s courage with the cantaloupe smoothie. Now you know.

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.