Posts Tagged With: distilled water

My Super Powers #1, Washing Water

Posted on January 27, 2025 by pauldelancey

How does Paul get his water so clean?

Most people, if they wish to have truly clean water,  go to the supermarket to buy distilled water, purified water, or even spring water. But I don’t have to do anything like that. I clean my water at home. I simply put detergent in the clothes washer and press start. Whizzo, boffo, the washer washes the water filling the washer. Nothing wishy washy about this water washing. It gets the job done. Presto change, I have clean water.

Just remember two things. First, don’t put any clothes in the washer before pressing the start button. You’ll end up washing your clothes, not the water. Second, be sure to scoop out your water before the washer drains the water.

And you too can develop this super power with a little practice.

You super man, or woman, you.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

 

Categories: about me, super powers | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Vanilla Shampoo

Posted on April 21, 2024 by pauldelancey

VANILLA SHAMPOO

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INGREDIENTS
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½ cup Castile Soap
2 teaspoons coconut oil
½ cup distilled water
12 drops vanilla essential oil
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SPECIAL UTENSIL
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1 cup, or larger, bottle
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PREPARATION
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Add all ingredients to bottle. Stir with fork, or shake, until well blended.
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TIDBITS
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1) “Vanilla Shampoo” is an anagram for “vanilla shampoo.”
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2) Fun fact: All words, or phrases, are anagrams of themselves. Culinary beauticians call these “first-order anagrams.”
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3) Second-order anagrams actually rearrange the letters. As an example, the second-order anagram for “twelve plus one” is “eleven plus two.”
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4) Don’t forget, an anagram for “Aloha salmon VIP” is “Vanilla Shampoo.”
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5) Try these anagrams at parties. Nothing but good can come from liberally sprinkling you conversations with these witticisms. People will admire your intellect and you become the life of the party. Vivacious, beautiful people will want to date you. Corporate executives will fall over themselves trying to hire you. Or . . .
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6) Partygoers will have heard these anagrams before. (I mean, what are the odd? Right?) In this case, the revelers will leave you alone. Take this reaction to grab some tasty hors d’oeuvres as you make your unnoticed exit.
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7) Dart back inside. Fit as many shrimps as you can into your Tupperware(tm) container. (You should always carry one.) As you zip out again, defiantly yell, “Hors d’oeuvre doesn’t need to be italicized as it has become an accepted part of our language.” That’ll teach them for shunning you.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: shampoo | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hurricane Hilary Thoughts From Poway, California

Posted on August 20, 2023 by pauldelancey

1. I’m glad that Hurricane Hilary wasn’t at all terrifying in Poway, CA.

2. It’s prudent to make precautionary measures in advance of a hurricane.

3. Not driving during a huricane is prudent. So is making plans to stay inside. Closing your windows to keep your carpets and furniture from being soaked from possible rain that comes down in sheets.

3A. However, it is prudent to drive away from your home if you live in valley subject to flash floods.

4. Buying up all the toilet paper, water, and canned food goods the day before the expected hurricane is just plain hysteria. Did none of you read about the expected severity of the hurricane? Did you look at any forecasts? Well did you? Did you think ravioli, cleanly wiped butts, and water were all that stood between you and a looming Southern California apocalypse?

5.  Full disclosure here. Yesterday, I was at the supermarket gathering fresh ingredients for the tonight’s homemade ravioli. Also, I completely ran out of distilled water for my CPAP machine during the height of the COVID crisis. All drinking water was bought up. None left. All distilled water disappeared from the shelves. I woke up one morning with no distilled water for my CPAP machine.(Fortunately, a friend of a friend 30 miles away scored some for me. If I can’t run my CPAP machine, I will get much less sleep and the sleep I will get is much shallower. And there is always a small, if unknown, chance that I could simply stop breathing without the CPAP. So, I am incredibly dismissive and angry toward panic buyers.

6.  You can follow the path and severity of the hurricane by television, radio, and internet. They are quite good at that, really.

7. The hurricane was not bad at all in Poway. Honestly, I went through many much worse rains in Wisconsin.

8. What did I do today? I stayed inside and worked on getting better at making homemade ravioli.

9. News alert: The wind just knocked down a neighbor’s garbage can. Not to worry, Poway will rebuild.

10. I want to thank all of you who worried about me today. I realize that conditions here are often not clear thousands, or even hundreds, of miles away. I feel quite humbled and touched by your concern.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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