Relentless Logic



My wife pointed to a dish with cheeseburger remnants.

“What’s this?” she asked.

“Cheeseburger,” I said.

“Why did you eat that when you knew we were going out for lunch?”

I riposted, “I wasn’t thinking.”

“How come you weren’t thinking?”

“I wasn’t thinking.”

“You should have been thinking you weren’t thinking so you could have been thinking,” she said.

“”I,” said I, “couldn’t have thinking I wasn’t thinking so I could have been thinking because I wasn’t thinking to think I could have been thinking I should have been thinking I wasn’t thinking.”

“Okay,” she said.

“Okay,” I said.

I wonder what sort of conversations did Mr. and Mrs. Rene Descartes have. Oh, for the record I only ate a half a cheeseburger as I had begun to think.

“I think I should be thinking about this cheeseburger, therefore I am.”
– Rene Descartes in his first attempt at proving his existence

– Paul R. De Lancey – culinary thinker

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on



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