Posts Tagged With: shower

Lavender Buds Goat’s Milk Soap

LAVENDER BUDS GOAT’S MILK SOAP

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INGREDIENTS
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1 teaspoon pale blue, lavender, or summer violet mica powder
¼ cup isopropyl alcohol
1 tablespoon butter or alcohol
2 pounds goat milk’s soap base
1 teaspoon lavender essential oil
1 tablespoon lavender buds
butter or alcohol to coat molding
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Makes 10½ bars. 1″ wide. Takes 3½ hours.
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PREPARATION
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Add pale blue mica and ¼ cup alcohol to mixing bowl. Blend.
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Rub silicon mold with alcohol or butter.
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Use spice grinder to grind lavender buds into powder
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Cut goat’s milk base into 1″ cubes. Add goat’s milk to large glass measuring cups. Melt base in 30 second intervals. Stir after every time.
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Pour melted goat’s milk base to soap mold
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Add essential oil. Mix.
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Add lavender powder and mica/alcohol blend. Mix.
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Let sit for 3 hours. Use soap slicer to cut soap into slices 1″ wide.
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TIDBITS
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1) Things you can do with bars of lavender buds goat’s milk :(LBGMS):
Shower
Bathe
Barter for things you want when you don’t have enough money. Note: some things like houses will take quite a lot of soap bars in trade.
Corner the market in LBGMS. Think of all the money you’ll make if LBGMS mania takes over, Think of how clean and fragrant you be if it doesn’t.
Build your dream house with bars of LBGMS. Note: you won’t be able to insure your dream house against rain storms. May I suggest building your LBGMS home in places that get no rain at all? The world has a few such places.
Use your LBGMS bars to create avant-garde art. Become famous overnight.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: soap | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Honey Lavender Goat’s Milk Soap

HONEY LAVENDER GOAT’S MILK SOAP

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INGREDIENTS
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1 tablespoon lavender buds
1 teaspoon gold mica powder
2 tablespoons isopropyl alcohol
2 pounds goat’s milk soap base
1 teaspoon lavender essential oil
2 tablespoons honey
isopropyl alcohol
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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soap molding
spray bottle
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Makes 10½ bars. 1″ wide. Takes 3½ hours.
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PREPARATION
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Add lavender buds to spice grinder. Grind until the bud bits are small as possible.. Add gold mica and 2 tablespoons isopropyl alcohol to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended.
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Cut goat’s milk base into 1″ cubes. Add goat’s milk base to large glass measuring cups. Melt base in 30 second intervals. Stir after every time. Add gold mica powder/isopropyl mix and lavender essential oil. Stir with knife until well blended. Let sit for 15 minutes. (This inhibits lavender bits and honey from settling to the bottom of the soap mold.) Add lavender bits and honey. Mix with knife until well blended.
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Spray silicon mold with isopropyl alcohol. Pour melted soap into soap mold. If desired, lightly spray bubbles with isopropyl alcohol to make them disappear. Let soap sit for 3 hours. Use soap slicer to cut soap into slices 1″ wide.
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TIDBITS
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1) Earth has gravity. The gravity of anything on Earth’s surface is defined to be one bar. The gravity of one soap bar is one bar. They’re the same! The same, I tell you! Let’s see if the reverse is true. Does one bar weigh one bar? It does! It does!
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­2) Oh my gosh, gravity comes from soap bars. Without soap’s gravitational field, nothing on Earth would stay on Earth. All of humanity and all our remote controls would eventually float off into space. Without our remote controls, how would we watch our favorite television programs?
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3) So, scatter as many soap bars as you can around your home and for pity’s sake, keep a firm grip on your Honey Lavender Goat’s Milk soap whenever you shower. Your future depends on it.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: soap | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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