How many times has this happened to you? Your friends came over to your house for a friendly, low-stakes Parcheesi tournament. Within minutes, all of them sport faces contorted with enormous, deep-tissue frowns. Why, your place is a poster home for Pigsty Home. Clothes lie scattered on the floor. Indeed, most clothes don’t even make it to the closet. You let them fall to the floor wherever you disrobed. Last time, you undressed by the sofa. You didn’t want to feel constrained by shirt and pants while watching the show My Mother the Car.
The dishes in the sink resemble a Jenga version of Mount Everest. Flies buzz about them with a well earned feeling of total security. Boxes, oh my gosh, boxes litter the dining room. Moving to table there resembles a snow plow at work. You couldn’t have been bothered to throw them out. Beside boxes! You can never tell when you’ll need a good box.
And, wow, the number of discarded brown toilet-roll cores would put you in Ripley’s Believe It or Not. One would think you had a multi-day wipe-a-thon. Culinary psychologists describe such excessive and compulsive messiness with
TODAY’S AWESOME PHRASE
Anal Blow Out
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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