Smoked SPAM

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INGREDIENTS

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4 12-ounce cans SPAM(tm)

½ cup ham rub or pineapple-ham rub

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SPECIAL UTENSILS

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wood chips (hickory, apple, or pecan)

smoker

electric thermometer

baking pan

tin foil

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Serves 4. Takes 3 hours.

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PREPARATION

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Preheat smoker to 220 degrees. Add wood chips to smoker. Make diagonal cuts about ¼” deep on the top of the SPAM blocks. Rub ham rub all over SPAM blocks.

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When temperature of smoker reaches 220 degrees, place SPAM blocks on  grill Put thermometer in the thickest part of a SPAM block. Smoke until SPAM’s internal temperature reaches 160 degrees. This should take about 2 hours 30 minutes, varying greatly depending on your smoker. Let sit for 5 minutes or eat right away. Goes well with macaroni and cheese.

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TIDBITS

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1) Amps is an anagram for SPAM.  “Amplifiers” is slang for amps. Amplifiers were first built in 1803 by the reputedly young, inventor and guitarist, Keith Richards. There were no uses for them until Mr. Richards formed the first rock n’ roll band one year later. His group, The Drifting Pebbles toured the British coasts in 1804. Wow, they were popular! 172,000-estimates vary-showed up for his second concert, held in Bristol. The front-row fans went wild. The music goers seated farther back, not so much. His third and fourth venues drew only dozens.

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2) But Keith adapted. “Why not use my amps to project my music to everyone?” Bristol Stomp, January 30, 1804. His fans returned in droves and by horse and foot. Britain loved him. The amount of trees needed to feed his wood-feed electric power station devastated forests everywhere. Then, disaster struck in 1805. Napoleon again went on the rampage, winning land battles everywhere. Only the Royal Navy prevented his invasion of England. But the Royal Navy needed tons of oak to built its war ships. To satisfy its ravenous need, the navy requisitioned Richards’ wood. No wood, no concerts. To make things worse, the few concerts that still had wood for the amps were fertile hunting grounds for the Royal Navy’s press gangs. When word got out that going to a Drifting Pebbles concert meant be forced into the navy, Richard’s name became mud. His musical career tanked. But happily enough, he became part of The Rolling Stones in 1962. Now, everyone loves him.

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.