2 pounds pork loin
2 garlic bulbs
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon thyme
1 teaspoon Scotch bonnet sauce
1/2 tablespoon lime juice
2 1/2 cups white vinegar
2 cups water
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 1/2 cups rice
large jar with lid
Cut pork into 1/2″ cubes. Mince garlic and onion. Put pork cubes, garlic, onion, cloves, salt, thyme, Scotch bonnet sauce, lime juice, vinegar, and water into large jar. Put lid on jar and marinate for 2-to-7 DAYS. This is no spur-of-the-moment recipe you can whip up to impress a future fiancee.
2-to-4 days later, add oil everything in jar to large skillet, pan, or Dutch oven and sauté on medium-high heat for about 7 minutes or until pork begins to brown. While pork mixture simmers, cook rice according to instructions on package.
1) Garlic is a major ingredient in this recipe.
2) In 1986, French and Soviet spacemen quarreled over garlic. The French would not go into space without garlic. The Soviets complained about garlic’s bad smell and refused to allow it onto the space station. Did the world come close to war? I don’t know.
3) Garlic has been thought by many over the centuries to ward off vampires.
4) Perhaps the French though the Soviets were sending their vampires into space.
5) For decades, the Soviets sent their political undesirables into the gulags of Siberia.
6) Vampires are about as undesirable as people get and since space stations are farther from Moscow than Siberia, I understand the Soviets wanting to send their vampires into outer space.
7) And I totally understand the French government not wanting its astronauts to come back as vampires to infect the entire country because they were bitten by cosmonaut vampires.
8) I always have garlic in my home to ward off Russian vampire spacemen. Better safe than sorry, I always say.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.