Serves 6. Takes 50 minutes plus at least 2 hours 30 minutes to set.
PREPARATION
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Let cream cheese and butter soften. Peel bananas and cut them in half along their lengths.
Add cream cheese, brown sugar, and ½ teaspoon cinnamon to large mixing bowl. Use fork or blender on lowest setting until cream cheese/brown sugar mixture is light and fluffy.
Light and fluffy sounds so peaceful doesn’t it? Next time you’re at a peace conference say, “Light and fluffy” to the warring sides and see if the mood of the room doesn’t improve dramatically.
Meanwhile back at the stove, use medium heat to melt the butter in a pan. Add 6 banana halves to pan. Sauté bananas on medium heat for 5 minutes or until they turn light brown on both sides. Turn bananas carefully over once with spatula to ensure even browning. Repeat for second batch of 6 banana halves.
Evenly arrange 6 banana halves in bottom of baking dish. Spoon cream cheese/brown sugar mixture evenly over bananas. Place 6 more banana halves on top of the cream cheese. Spoon ½ pound cream cheese atop the second banana layer.
Smooth heavy cream over the second layer of cream cheese. Sprinkle ¼ teaspoon cinnamon over heavy cream.
Bake for 20 minutes at 350 degrees or until cream-cheese sauce is bubbly and golden brown. Let cool on wire rack for 30 minutes. Put in refrigerator at least 2 hours or until it sets.
TIDBITS
1) Josephine Bonaparte, wife of the Emperor Napoleon, was born in Martinique in 1763 with the name of Marie Josèphe Rose Tascher de La Pagerie. This name was way too long so most people just called her “Ma.” Josephine possessed a lively sense of humor.
2) People loved her jokes. She had them in stitches. Agents from Vau de Ville frequently came to her mansion to sign her up for large engagements but she always demurred, saying she was but a simple banana plantation monopolist.
3) Still the island’s elite kept coming to her comedy soirées to hear her jokes. They never wanted to leave even when she got tired and wanted to retire. They’d say, “Yo, Ma, Ma, tell us another joke.”
4) Her funnies became known as “Ma Ma jests,” then “Mama jests,” and finally by 1779 as “Yo, Mama jokes.”
5) In 1779, Ma Pagerie married the owner of the Folies Bergère, Monsieur de Beauharnais, and moved to Paris.
6) Nothing much of note happened in the lives of the de Beauharnaises until monsieur ended their marriage by getting guillotined in 1794. Saved the unpleasantness of a bitter divorce, Ma commenced a series of mirthful affairs with the handsome leaders of the French Revolution.
7) In 1796 she attracted the eye of a young artillery officer named Napoleon Bonaparte. “She made me laugh,” said Napoleon before his death.
8) Napoleon suffered from chronic depression and often stayed in bed neglecting to fight the smallest battle until Ma bucked him up with one of the world’s first chicken-crossing the road jokes. “Pourquoi le poulet a traversé la rue? Pour obtenir à l’autre côté.”
9) Ma’s merriment gave Napoleon the energy to follow his dream. In 1799, he and two other hombres overthrew the constitutional government. In 1804, he reached the top of the government ladder when he made himself emperor.
10) Life was good for France with Napoleon conquering one country after another. People no longer had to get visas to visit the Italian Riviera. Napoleon had made it part of France. What a guy!
11) But things went sour in 1810. Napoleon wanted an heir for his Empire. Ma, although always able to conceive a knee-slapping joke without a moment’s notice, could not do the same with a child. So Napoleon divorced her and married Marie Louise of Austria.
12) Marie Louise lived in a permanent humor-free zone. She never made Napoleon laugh, not once. Napoleon grew moody, his judgment became impaired. In 1812, he invaded Russia, a disaster. By 1814, his enemies camped at the French border. They offered Napoleon a peace treaty, but without Ma’s jokes to relieve the tension caused by his tactless outbursts, negotiations went downhill.
13) Napoleon was forever defeated in 1815 and exiled to St. Helena. It would decades before vaudeville revived.
How many times has this happened to you? You’ve been scrupulously minding your own business when suddenly you acquire a country, a province, or a city. How did you end up with such an expanse of land and the people, economies, and possibly nuclear weapons that go along with it?
Perhaps you inherited it. Did you think to ask your parents, “Will you be leaving me a country?” I suggest you do so.
Perhaps you won it on Let’s Make a Deal(tm). Two of the doors had a garter snake behind them and the other door had a document giving you ownership of a country whose flag is blue and white. You picked door #1. Monte Hall shows you door #3 with the garter snake. He then asks you if you stay with the door you had originally picked or will you know pick door #2. You switch your pick, because you now know the chance of winning a country will be 2/3, whereas if you stay with the first door your odds of winning will only be 1/3. And ha,ha, you are rewarded with your very own country.
Perhaps you earned the little land with your frequent-flyer miles? You flew a lot, didn’t you?
Perhaps you simply saw the deed to the country on a sidewalk and picked it up.
So, there you have it. You’ve yourself a new country. But won’t the once old country be angry at you? You betcha! Won’t they be chomping at the bit to regaing their independence? Absolutely. Can they do it? Yes, if they ally with some powerful nation, or huge hedge fund, and attack you.
That is the nightmare scenario. The only way to stop this coalition from forming against you is to fool the world into thinking your country isn’t new; that it’s really part of either an old and peaceful nation or portfolio. How do you do this?
Simple, pick a flag that looks like the one from another country, province, or city. How do you do that?
May I suggest limiting the colors of your new flag to comforting blue and white? There are, as of presstime, seven wonderful countries, and one entire world!, that use only blue and white in their banners. Here are my favorite blue-and-white flags in order of coolness and power. And you know the saying, “Comforting and powerful flags, comforting and powerful lands.”
1. The United Nations
The United Nations has flag sports a map of the world surrounded by two olive branches that symbolize peace . The world and the olive branches are both encompassed by a lot of blue. This blue represented the world’s sky, the world’s oceans, or blueberries; I’m not sure. The white color for the lands refer to the white blood cells, that we all have and that crush invading illnesses.
You really can’t go wrong with owning the entire world. You could do anything you wanted, like going to the head of all the lines of Disneyland(tm). Because you possess nuclear weapons and stuff.
2. Martinique
Martinique’s flag is by far the coolest of the blue-and-whites. It has four whites snakes on it, each enclosed in a pool of blue water. These are your body guards. People will never give you any guff, when they know can you release your snakes at the snap of a finger. And wouldn’t you like to live in a guff-free world.
3. Micronesia
Micronesia’s is wonderful in its simplicity. The four stars stand for its four big islands. The blue background represents the Pacific Ocean that connects that or my blueberries. The four stars also invoke the image of a baseball diamond. If you crave simplicity, island paradises, blue oceans lapping at your beach, and blueberries, then this is the country for you.
4. Honduras
Honduras went for the ever popular three horizontal bar theme. A country that makes a safe choice for its flag will be a safe nation to rule. The two blue bars represent the equals sign. Honduras chose the equals sign because they hold everyone to be equal and because the country is simply mathematics mad. The five stars refer to the answer to word problem 14.
5. Finland
Finland plonked down for the blue cross on a white background. The cross refers to the land’s christian heritage. All other Scandanavian countries did the same. Finland picked last, that’s why it picked blue. The white background represents the snow that covers much of the country much of the time. The intersecting blue bars also refer to road intersections. Finland is justly proud of its intersections. If you desire to drive your car in the snow, then, by all means, rule Finland.
6. Shetland
Look at the above flag for Finland. Shetland’s flag is the photo negative of Finland. Culinary flagologists tell us the Shetlanders have to do everything the exact opposite of the Finnish. And vice versa. Except for blueberries, the people of both nations love blueberries. Hence the use of blue in their flags
7. Israel
The star in the middle is the Star of David, a Jewish symbol since the Middle Ages. The two blue horizontal stripes on a white background derive from the traditional Jewish prayer shawl. The color blue represents blueberries and the small blue tassels that male Jews should carry.
8. Greece
Greece’s flag combines the three most popular flag ingredients: the cross, bars, and a love of blueberries. It has it all.
9. Somalia
The theme of Somalia is simplicity, simplicity, simplicity. One white star to represent a white star and a blue background to represent the ocean and blueberries.
Now you know the world’s blue flags. Maybe someday you’ll visit the nations their represent.