How many times a day has this happened to you? An apple that was in your hands is now on the floor. Or milk that was all the way to the top of the glass is now spreading on the tablecloth.
The most common explanation for these two events is that you dropped the apple and knocked over the glass of milk. You, are in fact, clumsy.
This reasoning is most unkind. Being called a klutz damages your soul. You get depressed. You’re not even allowed to deal with your grief, your destroyed self esteem, by weeping over the growing puddle of milk. “Don’t cry over spilt milk.” Not only that some former friend will say, “Boy, are you clumsy?” And you are most certainly that. And yet, society denies you the release of sobbing. You find yourself abandoning complete sentences in favor of. Sentence fragments. And we all know sentence fragments are Devil’s gateway to murderous deeds.
However, your downward spiral into gratuitous slaying is isn’t inevitable.
Yay.
We need to change the word clumsiness, even the phrases dropping things and spilling thing. We need an impressive word, scientific words even, to be used instead.
And now there is:
TODAY’S AWESOME PHRASE
Gravitational Experiment
Awesome entry #48
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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