Cheeseburger Pie

American Entree



1 small onion
1 pound ground beef
¼ teaspoon salt
1 cup grated cheddar cheese (1 cup more later)
½ cup ketchup
⅛ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 9″ pastry shell
1 cup grated cheddar cheese
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk

Serves 4. Takes 45 minutes.


Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Dice onion. Add ground beef, onion, and salt to pan. Cook on medium-high heat for 10 minutes or until beef browns and onion softens. Drain. Add 1 cup cheese, ketchup, pepper, and Worcestershire sauce. Stir until well blended.

Ladle mixture into pastry shell. Add 1 cup cheese, egg, and milk to mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Spoon evenly over meat mixture. Bake at 425 degrees for 25 minutes or until the crust is golden brown and a toothpick stuck in the center comes out clean.


1 The left picture is the planet Venus. The one on the right is this recipe’s cheeseburger pie. The photographs are shockingly similar.

2) These photos have turned our understanding of the creation of the Solar System and indeed of the entire universe on its ear. Scientists are now speculating that the building blocks of planets are: small onions, ground beef, salt, grated cheddar cheese, ketchup, pepper, Worcestershire sauce, pastry shell, eggs, and milk.

3)The discovery of these new planetary ingredients will, of course, force a drastic revision of the Big Bang Theory. Other theorists dismiss the need for ten new building blocks, saying only one is needed. That is Venus is really a Cheese PuffTM that somehow expanded to planetary size. NASA is hurriedly drafting plans to send a team of culinary astronauts to Venus to find out. Stay tuned.


Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on

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