In hardly any aspect of life can a man be if a failure if he succeeds .700 of the time. However, a pitcher stinks if he gets .700 of his batters out. A fielder is wretched if he succeeds on only .925
of his plays. Indeed if he fields the ball or throws the ball when there is no chance to get a runner out, he can only lower his fielding average by making an error. He cannot raise it. But there’s a silver lining in all of this. Every time a major-league pitcher gives up a grand slam you can proudly say, “I’m just as good as he is. ” And indeed you would be. You’d probably uncork a wild pitch and walk the next batter, but the point is you’d be letting only one run in as opposed to four. And just how many pitchers in Major League Baseball can say they could save their team three runs. Time to sit by that phone and wait for those big contract offers.- Paul R. De Lancey, philosopher

of his plays. Indeed if he fields the ball or throws the ball when there is no chance to get a runner out, he can only lower his fielding average by making an error. He cannot raise it. But there’s a silver lining in all of this. Every time a major-league pitcher gives up a grand slam you can proudly say, “I’m just as good as he is. ” And indeed you would be. You’d probably uncork a wild pitch and walk the next batter, but the point is you’d be letting only one run in as opposed to four. And just how many pitchers in Major League Baseball can say they could save their team three runs. Time to sit by that phone and wait for those big contract offers.- Paul R. De Lancey, philosopher
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.