Teacher, I wrote my homework on paper made of matter. While I was walking to school, my homework paper collided with homework paper made of anti-matter. Woowee! It was almost the end of the universe. Thank goodness, it wasn’t, huh? Anyway, my homework and that anti-homework obliterated each other.
– (your name here)
Teacher, my homework got sucked into a black hole. It is gone forever. It’s a tough neighborhood.
– (your name here)
Teacher, the National Security Agency confiscated my homework in an application of the Patriot Act. You are a patriot, aren’t you?
– (your name here)
Teacher, I was climbing Cadillac Mountain. I am enclosing a sticker from there as proof.
– (your name here)
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.