Great Excuses For Not Turning In Homework

Teacher, I wrote my homework on paper made of matter. While I was walking to school, my homework paper collided with homework paper made of anti-matter. Woowee! It was almost the end of the universe. Thank goodness, it wasn’t, huh? Anyway, my homework and that anti-homework obliterated each other.

– (your name here)

Teacher, my homework got sucked into a black hole. It is gone forever. It’s a tough neighborhood.

–  (your name here)

Teacher, the National Security Agency confiscated my homework in an application of the Patriot Act. You are a patriot, aren’t you?

– (your name here)

Teacher, I was climbing Cadillac Mountain. I am enclosing a sticker from there as proof.

– (your name here)

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on


Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

Post navigation

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

%d bloggers like this: