manners

It’s important to call people the way should be called.

Take the case  of Fernando Aloysius Bunion.

He wants his friends to call him “Fern.”

If you are almost a friend or a frequent business associate, say “Fernando, your fly is unzipped.”

If you are semi-frequent acquaintance, refer to him as “Bunion, check your fly.”

If you are engaging him in formal correspondence, address him as “Mr. Fernando Bunion.” Companies who call him “Fernando” when writing out of the blue are complete, are staffed with overfamiliar oafs.* And Fern, I am a friend of his, will toss your missive unread into the trash bin.

* = Why isn’t the plural of “oaf” not “oaves?” The plural of loaf is loaves.

So, it is was with some satisfaction that my close friend Brain Posterior was addressed as Mr. Brain Posterior. “You cannot believe how many people up and call me “Brain” or only slightly better, “Brain. But Imaging Healthcare treated my name and  me with the respect I deserve. If damage to my skull or brain warrants an MRI, I know where I’ll going.”

See below how Imaging Healthcare informs my friend he’s getting fossa without contrast. People, this is the gold standard.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.